Wedding anniversary
gifts by year.

Debrett’s list stops at the 70th and doesn’t name the 65th, although the King sends a card for it. Ivory, the 14th, is best taken as a colour: GOV.UK says that since 6 June 2022 you cannot buy, sell or hire out items containing elephant ivory in the UK unless they are registered or certified as exempt, and the ban now also covers hippo, killer whale, narwhal and sperm whale ivory.

Debrett’s traces it to the Middle Ages, when 25th and 50th anniversaries, “comparatively rare events when life expectancy was short”, were celebrated with silver and gold wreaths that the husband gave his wife. More dates were added gradually. Queen Victoria’s diamond jubilee marked 60 years on the throne, and diamonds became associated with the 60th; in the same era, wood came to stand for the 5th, and husbands often carved keepsakes by hand.

In America, the full year-by-year list came later still. The Emily Post Institute says Emily Post’s 1922 etiquette book covered eight anniversaries, including paper for the 1st, silver for the 25th and gold for the 50th, and that in 1937 the American National Retail Jeweler Association filled out most of the rest. American lists still differ from British ones in places: Emily Post’s classic list gives iron for the 6th where Debrett’s gives sugar, and it adds a modern gift for each year on the list, such as clocks for the 1st and silverware for the 5th.

By the 25th, the best material is usually the family’s own photos. Ask children, grandchildren and old friends for one picture and one memory of the couple each, well before the day.

By the 50th, the couple are often grandparents too, and our guide to gifts for grandparents has more ideas that suit them.

In the US, couples celebrating their 50th anniversary or later can request a greeting from the White House. Congressional offices, such as Representative Delia Ramirez’s, ask for requests at least six weeks ahead, and greetings go to US citizens only.

Paper is the first-anniversary material, which makes a printed book a natural fit. A Memory Book is an A4 landscape hardcover of your photos and words: 24 printed pages cost £44.99 plus delivery. Our guide to what to write in a memory book helps with the captions.

For a 25th, 40th or 50th, invite the family into a private family space and ask everyone to add their photos of the couple to the shared family Library. Then build a book of the whole marriage: A Legacy has 48 printed pages for £64.99 plus delivery. To put the wedding photo on the wall, there is a Memory Canvas or an Acrylic Print, both from £99.99 plus delivery. Premium families (£3.99 a month) get 10% off prints, and standard delivery takes 10 to 14 working days, so order a few weeks before the date.

Nicole put a common problem plainly: “In my case, I have external hard drives full of photos I never get to see, but Ancestorii finally gave those memories a place where they can be easily enjoyed and shared.”